


Why her?

by Sagarc



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club, Hidden Block (Video Blogging RPF), NormalBoots
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/M, Injury, Jealousy, M/M, PBG Route (only they get together way earlier), Unrequited Love, everyone is probably out of character, it's my first fic be gentle, more to come as i write more, oh god so much crying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-01-31 06:38:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18585817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sagarc/pseuds/Sagarc
Summary: Jeff has long dreamt of the day that his best friend would confess his feelings for him. but when said best friend finds himself a girlfriend, Jeff's world begins to fall apart.





	1. The Worst Good News

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't think this would be the first fic I ever posted, but here we are.  
> some of this story is (sadly) inspired by events in my own life...

“Oh, Jeff.” PBG shuddered as the shorter boy glided his arms down the sides of his slender torso, wrapping them around his lower back and pulling him into a passionate embrace. The taller boy rested his head on Jeff’s shoulder, his scruffy facial hair tickling Jeff’s neck. “You’re so wonderful. I’m so glad we’re together” the two gently rocked side to side, enjoying the serene peace of each other’s presence.

  
_“Man, that’s so cheesy”_ Jeff thought allowed, dreamily starring up at the boards of Ian’s bunk bed above him, fantasies of his crush dancing around in his head. Since the day they first met Jeff had fallen for the younger boy. It was love at first sight. There was just something about PBG that was so amazing, Jeff could never put it into words, but he was crazy about him. They had immediately hit it off, quickly becoming best friends, and the longer they knew each other, the more Jeff’s feelings for PBG continued to grow.  
He’d often find himself daydreaming about himself and PBG being a couple, whenever he was alone.  First kisses, going out on dates, maybe even one day getting married. He loved picturing himself together with his crush. He wished someday that PBG would return his feelings and his fantasies could become a reality. Sadly that moment had yet to come. There had been a few moments where he felt like it was about to, but it never did. Jeff knew he could always take the initiative, confess his feelings for the taller boy. But the thought of rejection terrified him, the thought that his creepy gay crush would somehow freak him out and damage their friendship and ruin everything had caused him to keep his mouth shut, he needed PBG to make the first move so he’d know it was ok.

**“DANA DANAAAAAAAA!!!!”**

Suddenly, Jeff was pulled from his delusion and back to reality by the obnoxiously loud message tone of his phone. Climbing back out of his bed he walked over to his desk to grab his phone and see who had interrupted him.

<Peebs – 1 New Message>

A smile spread across the fourth years face, just seeing PBG’s name was enough to make his heart flutter these days. Jeff unlocked his phone and opened the message

<Peebs – Hey! Wassup?>  
<Hammy – Not much dude, you?>  
<Peebs – I’ve got some awesome news :D>  
<Hammy – Oh? What is it?>  
<Peebs – I have a girlfriend! :D Guess who>  


Jeff’s eyes went wide, and his mouth dropped open. There it was. The one word Jeff had always hoped PBG would never say. **‘Girlfriend’**  
A flash of pink hair bobbed its way across Jeff’s mind. He knew exactly who it was

<Hammy – Hana>  
<Peebs – YEP! :D>  
<Peebs – She remembered me>  
<Peebs – and now we’re going out>  
<Peebs – I’m so happy!>

The younger boy was clearly excited, his messages were coming in faster and faster, like he couldn’t wait to finish typing to press send. It happened often, PBG was like a child when he got excited, nothing but unbridled enthusiasm. But it had never been quite like this, every message that came in was like a dagger being thrust into Jeff’s heart as it tried to explode out of his chest.  
.  
<Peebs – Isn’t it awesome? :D>  
<Peebs – well, I guess it doesn’t really have anything to do with you though…>  
<Peebs – But >  
<Peebs - I’m just so happy>  
<Peebs – and>  
<Peebs - I wanted>  
<Peebs - to tell someone>  
<Peebs - :D>  
<Peebs - :D>  
<Peebs - :D>

Jeff felt himself fall backwards, as if someone had kicked out his legs. He landed hard on the chair next to his desk. But even after landing he still felt like he was falling. Through the chair, through the carpet, through every floor of bluebell and down into the dark of the earth’s crust. His head was spinning as everything around him grew fuzzy, everything except the phone he still held in his shaking hand.

<Peebs - :D>  
<Peebs – I’m just so happy Jeff!>  
<Peebs – Hana is my girlfriend!>  
<Peebs – AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH>  
<Peebs – HHHHHH!!!!!!!>  
<Peebs – My Girlfriend! :D>

“Girlfriend…” “Girlfriend...” **“GIRLFRIEND!”** “He has a girlfriend…” Jeff repeated the word aloud between frantic breaths, not that he could hear it though. Since all sound was drowned out by Jeff’s own heartbeat pounding wildly in his ears, as all his hopes and dreams he’d built up for the last 3 years came crashing down around him.  
Slowly Jeff lifted his phone back up near his face and began to type. As he did the floodgates finally opened and heartbroken tears began to make their way down his face, gliding down his cheekbones and getting lost in his scruffy facial hair. It took him a while to collect himself enough to type a coherent sentence. But finally he hit send.

<Hammy – I’m very happy for you dude.>

A lie, obviously, but PBG was his best friend, he needed to at least pretend.

<Peebs – thank you :) anyway, I’ll talk to you later, gonna go meetup with my girlfriend. We have so much to catch up on>  
<Peebs – eeeee Girlfriend, it feels so exciting to say that>

Jeff let his hands fall to his sides, dropping his phone on the ground. He sat there in his chair staring aimlessly at the ceiling, tears streaming down his face as the world grew darker and darker around him. The devastated young man felt like he was going to throw up. Everything was spinning. He felt sick to his stomach and like he would never stop falling, deeper and deeper into the dark depths of despair. _“Come on Jeff”_ he thought to himself. _“You knew… you knew this was always a possibility.”_ He did. He never wanted to believe it would happen though, but it did. “you knew… you knew…” he quietly sobbed wishing that the pain would go away “you knew…”

Jeff didn’t know how long he had been sitting there like this. Time didn’t matter much to him right now. Nothing really mattered actually. His mind and heart were both shattered. His face and beard were starting to dry as he had run out of tears a while ago. Not that he was aware of that though, still trapped in his catatonic state.

  
Just as Jeff began to piece his mind back together he heard a soft click come from his dorm room door as it unlocked. The door gently swung open and Ian stepped inside. “Ah, you are still here” Ian said looking over to Jeff “Dude, we’ve been messaging you for ages. We have a club meeting tonight remember?” His voice was slightly agitated, not that that was anything out of the ordinary for him. Jeff slowly moved his empty eyes to look at his roommate, staring blankly for a moment before his brain switched back on properly “O..oh right. Sorry!” he stammered climbing back to his feet, before bending over to pick up his phone from the floor. It may have just been a moment, but it was enough for Ian to notice that something was off. “You ok Jeff?” he asked, his tone becoming gentler as he stepped closer to his friend.  “y… yeah, guess I was just daydreaming or something, lost track of time” he faked a laugh “Anyway, guess we better get to the club room before Caddy throws a tantrum eh?” Ian could tell his friend was lying. Something was clearly very wrong with him. But if he didn’t want to talk about it right now, he’d try again later. “Yeah, we’re about 10 minutes away from a meltdown. So now that I’ve found you, let’s get a move on.” Ian pointed his thumb towards the door over his shoulder _“maybe he’ll feel better and be ready to open up after some game time with the guys”_ Ian hoped to himself.


	2. Sad Spacehamster

“YES! Eat it rapper boy!” Caddy boasted at Luke as he managed to knock the hat-wearing club member from his first place spot in their current Nario Kart race thanks to a well-aimed item. Jimmy let out a congratulatory “Woo” as Caddy crossed the finish line, followed by Ian, then Wallid then the formerly first place Luke, and finally Jeff. Luke let out a groan frustrated at being robbed of his victory at the last possible moment. And the other club members laughed as Caddy’s 1st place victory was presented on the screen. “Man, 4th place, I didn’t even place on the podium…” Luke chuckled “Nice job Caddy” he held out his hand to give his adversary a congratulatory handshake, which the Brit smugly accepted. All the club members continued to laugh, all but Jeff. He had been on Autopilot the whole night, just going through the motions, his psyche still in tatters. He still felt like he was falling, everything that was happening around him just felt like a dream, like it wasn’t real.

  
Wallid, who had been sitting next to Jeff for most of the night turned to look at the older boy “everything alright there Jeff? You normally do a lot better than that” Jeff quickly put up a false smile. “Ah, yeah. I’m good. Just not my night for Nario Kart I guess haha.” Wallid stared at Jeff for a moment before responding “alright, if you say so. Did you want to change games then maybe?” before Jeff could respond Caddy proclaimed “Yes! Now that I am the undisputed champion of Nario Kart we can switch to another game. Then I can slaughter you all on another front” Ian sighed and groaned loudly while Luke gave the brit a playful shove, “you’re on dude. Let’s settle it in Stomp!” Jimmy and Caddy let out a cheer while Ian got up off his cushion to change over the game. Everyone’s attention quickly turned away from Jeff and onto their latest competition. 

Things didn’t really go any better for Jeff in Stomp. He still couldn’t get himself to focus on the game, his mind was still reeling and replaying the moment PBG sent him that message

  
<Peebs – I have a girlfriend! :D>

  
What did Stomp matter now? Now that Jeff’s dreams were crushed, and his heart broken. Nothing mattered.  
Thing didn’t go well for Caddy either, with Jimmy easily defeating him within the first minute of most matches. Not that Jeff really cared that much right now, but at least his friends were having a good time. ~~(Except Caddy)~~

 

***********************************************

 

As was the usual for a Hidden Block club meeting things didn’t wrap up until well into the night. With equal parts fun, chaos and death threats, and only minor property damage. Finally, at almost midnight it was time for the boys to wrap things up and head back to their dorms. They made their way back to Bluebell house all together, Ian and Caddy arguing about something and slinging insults at each other. While Luke, Wallid and Jimmy had a friendly chat, and also placing bets with each other on if it will be Ian or Caddy that backs down first. Jeff walked a few paces behind the rest of the group, silently sulking along, uninterested in what all his friends were doing. He looked across the field towards the girls dorms. _“was PBG still there?”_ he wondered _“with her?”_ the eldest hidden block member quickly shook his head before any mental images of PBG and Hana together could be conjured in his mind.   
As they climbed the steps of each floor of Bluebell the club members went their separate ways to head to their own dorm rooms. Leaving only Jeff and Ian silently walking to their shared dorm room. 

  
It was clear as day to Ian that something was bothering his friend. But he wasn’t sure he should push for answers.  _“If Jeff wants help, he’ll ask for it. Until then I just need to be there for him”_ he mentally reassured himself, as they arrived at their door. Steeping inside, Jeff let out a sigh before mumbling “I’m going to bed” and slowly lumbering over to his bed to collapse on it.   
He didn’t bother changing out of his clothes, or even taking off his club jacket, he was too exhausted to even pretend he was ok now. He just wanted to done with today. “A…alright, I’ll wash up and then I’m gonna do the same. Night Jeff” Ian said gently his heart aching for his upset friend “yeah…” was as much of a response as Jeff could bother to give. After putting away his things and grabbing a change of clothes, Ian headed to the shower, leaving Jeff alone again with his thoughts. Finally he could just cry and not be ok. He didn’t need people worrying about him over something he could never tell them. How was he meant to explain that he had fallen for PBG, another guy, his best friend, and a member of the rival club? And that beyond that he was now heartbroken because his best friend got a girlfriend? _“Way to sound selfish”_ he mentally berated himself. The guys obviously wouldn’t have an issue with him liking guys, Ian and Jimmy were both gay after all. Plus, not that they’d ever admit it. But it was pretty obvious to everyone that Caddy was into Ian, obvious to everyone but Caddy and Ian at least. So Jeff’s sexuality wasn’t going to be a big deal, but falling for PBG of all people? And being this hung up on him? Yeah, that’s dumb.

  
By the time Ian was back from the shower the older boy had given up crying for the night. He didn’t acknowledge his roommate when he returned. He had hoped that Ian would just think he was asleep and leave him alone. Thankfully, that’s exactly what he did. It didn’t take long for Ian to fall to sleep, Jeff however, did not get that luxury, his whole night was spent tossing and turning, his mind obsessing over thoughts of PBG and the pink haired siren that stole his heart. 


	3. Sadder Spacehamster

A sleepless night, followed by boring classes, Jeff could not have cared less about paying attention in class today. Nothing really mattered right now to the shattered fourth year. He spent the whole class either staring out the window, or down at his desk. _“Why did they have to get together?” “What does she have that I don’t?”_ his mind continued to bitterly question _“I’d dye my hair pink, would he love me then?”_

  
Finally the bell rang and Jeff could get up and trudge out of class. Still on Autopilot Jeff headed to the cafeteria, his mind continuing to obsess over his lost love. Arriving at the cafeteria he grabbed himself a cheap meal, not really paying much mind to what he grabbed, what did it matter anyway, what did anything matter. He walked over towards his usual table where the rest of the Hidden Block club were already sitting and chatting. “Hey Jeff!” Jimmy called to him with a smile as he approached and sat down “Hey..” the fourth year responded deadpan. “Everything alright?” The youngest member questioned, surprised by the unenthusiastic greeting. “Eh, class was boring.” Jeff said with a shrug. Thankfully before Jimmy could pry any further his attention was pulled back to his 4DS and a Nokemon battle he had been in the middle of with Luke.  
Uninterested in interacting with his friends, Jeff’s eyes drifted across the cafeteria, finding their way to the usual table of their Rival club, Normal Boots. All the members were there enjoying themselves, Jon, Jarred, Satch, Jirard, Shane, Josh, Paul, Nick and of course PBG who had his arm around a guest at their table. Her.

  
The two were sitting so close that Hana might as well have been sitting on PBG’s lap. On top of that she was even wearing his club jacket. The new couple both had large smiles on their faces, as the other club members laughed and teased them. It was a smile unlike any Jeff had seen on his friend’s face before. _“I’ve never made him smile like that…”_ Jeff thought to himself feeling his heart start to shatter all over again. His eyes became fixated on the two of them, it hurt, the sight of them together was so incredibly painful. Jeff could see in his mind himself in Hana’s place, he’d never betray his club and sit with “the enemy” but being there with PBG, in his arms. He’d pictured it so many times before. And now there she was, stealing his dream for herself.

“Yo, Earth to SpaceHamster, come in SpaceHamster” Caddy called finally grabbing Jeff’s attention away from the painful sight. “What’cha staring at?” He questioned before following the older boy’s line of sight over to the other table. “Ah, looks like Normal Boots has gotten themselves a new member, figured she’d join them eventually” The Brit chuckled “Maybe our club needs a girl to balance things out” Jimmy and Ian both gave an immediate “Nah” as a response before the whole club started to laugh, save for Jeff. “I don’t think she’s actually joined them, not yet at least. But she’s definitely gotten, uhh, close to them” Luke commented clearly understanding the situation better than Caddy had. “Naaw, hetero love” cooed Jimmy faking a sweet smile at the happy couple’s affectionate behavior.  
Jeff let out a sigh before rising from his seat. “I… I’m not feeling great, gonna go lay down.” He said, his body starting to tremble as he fought back his tears. Seeing them together, hearing his friends talk about them. It was too much. He needed to get out of there before he broke down in front of all of them. “Are you sure, maybe you should go to the nurse?” Wallid questioned, concerned for his friend. Jeff didn’t even bother to respond, he was leaving, now. He couldn’t handle being around the two lovebirds any longer. He quickly made his way for the door, leaving behind 5 concerned friends, and an uneaten lunch.

****

Mercifully Jeff managed to make it out of the cafeteria before the tears began. Once outside he broke into an all-out run, wanting to get as far away from what he had just seen as possible. Tears were falling now, his eyes were red his well-defined cheekbones were shimmering in the afternoon sunlight from the tears streaming down his face. It was obvious he was crying, thankfully very few students were around the campus right now, with most still back inside eating their lunch. Jeff didn’t need people seeing him be such a baby, but right now he couldn’t help himself but bawl, the preserved mental image of the happy couple frozen in his mind.

Throwing open the door to his bedroom before quickly slamming it shut behind him Jeff sprinted across his room before diving into his bed, finally alone he buried his face in his pillow so he could truly let out every bit of pain within him. “WHY!” he pleaded through his pained wailing “Why her!?” “Why couldn’t it have been me!?” Aside from gasping for air every once in a while, Jeff carried on like this for well over an hour, before once again completely emptying himself of every last ounce of tears, his throat was tired and sore from all the crying and screaming. His normally perfectly maintained hair was a disheveled mess half covering his eyes, matted and stuck to his face thanks to the moisture of his tears. Jeff had never felt more exhausted or more empty.  
The love of his life had fallen for someone else. He couldn’t do anything to change that. And he couldn’t do anything to ease how much it hurt.

Jeff just laid there in his bed, staring up at the wooden planks above him, his beloved fantasies of himself and his best friend shattered and replaced with nightmarish scenarios playing out of PBG and the girl he loved.


	4. Brace for Impact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> super long chapter this time.

As the days rolled by, things did not get any better for the poor fourth year. He was a prisoner of his own mind, tormented by thoughts and mental images all hours of the day, distant and distracted from all of those around him, and a blubbering mess whenever he was alone.  
He’d been doing his best to at least pretend he was ok while he was in class, or with the rest of the Hidden Block Club. But he knew today was going to be a challenge, particularly this afternoon.  
Soccer practice.

Formerly one of his favorite parts of his week, Jeff now found himself filled with discomfort and dread as the hours ticked by towards practice. It’ll be the first time he and PBG have been together since he and Hana had gotten together, they hadn’t even spoken or messaged each other since then, Jeff felt bad about that, but it’s not like PBG was reaching out to him either, clearly he had more important things to do, and more important people to spend time with.

Finally the time had come. As Jeff slowly trudged his way to the boys change rooms his mind was trapped in a game of pong, bouncing back and forth between enthusiasm and terror.  
_“Maybe it’ll be ok, I’ll get to hang out with Peebs.”_  
_“But she might be there.”_  
_“But it might be fun.”_  
_“But he has a girlfriend.”_  
_“But that doesn’t have anything to do with playing soccer together”_  
_“But it changes everything”_  
_“But we haven’t talked all week”_  
_“Because of her”_  
_“I miss him”_  
The change room was empty, no surprise really, the fourth year was intentionally dragging his feet after all. The rest of the team was probably already out on the field. Slowly Jeff removed his Yellow Hidden Block Jacket and placed it on a hook, before wiggling out of his school uniform, letting it fall to the floor around him. Then retrieving his sports uniform from his duffel bag, he stuffed his school clothes in the bag in their place, before folding his jacket and placing it atop the crumpled heap.  
_“This is a bad idea”_  
_“But I need to go to practice”_  
_“What does soccer matter?”_  
_“It’s fun”_  
_“who cares about that”_  
_Fully changed now, Jeff started towards the field, still contemplating turning around and running away._  
_“This is a bad idea”_  
_“You can’t do this”_  
_“Turn around, you should just turn around and go back to your room”_  
_“Back to bed”_  
_“Yeah, that’s a good idea”_  
_“But maybe practice will be ok”_  
_“No”_  
_“I’m here now, I might as well just do it”_  
_“But what about PBG”_  


Finally Jeff had made it to the soccer field his eyes immediately caught sight of a familiar mop of brown hair bobbing around, carried by long slender legs as they ran a warmup drill. The boy turned around and his face lit up at the sight of his shorter friend “Hey Jeff!” he called, giving a big overhead wave to greet his teammate.  
He was a vision, that tall lean athletic body, his big childish grin, those hazel colored puppy dog eyes, that little facial scruff, and that shaggy mess of brunette hair. PBG looked amazing, his hair dancing in the gentle breeze and his skin glistening from the sweat he had worked up from his running drill.  
Jeff felt his heart melt as a warm feeling spread through his chest, a smile spreading across his face for the first time all week. “Hey Peebs! He called back in response, running over to his friend.  
_“Ok, maybe this was a good idea”_

Jeff scanned the bleachers, no sign of her. He felt relieved. This was his chance to just spend time with his friend, he didn’t have to worry about seeing anything that would cause him harm.  
Before the two had a chance to chat much their attention was pulled towards the sound of their coach blowing into their whistle. It was time for practice to begin, for everyone except Jeff at least. Since he arrived late, the coach had him sit out at first and warm up. Jeff stood at the outer edge of the field stretching out his legs and watched the rest of the team start a practice match. His eyes fixated on PBG, watching as the tall boy danced around the ball, passing it back and forth with their teammate Dean as the two charged towards McJones who was protecting the goal, ready to intercept their assault. PBG took his shot, sending the ball flying through the air and right past McJones’ head. Dean let out a cheer and PBG did a little fist pump, a satisfied smirk on his face.  
Jeff really enjoyed soccer, and while part of him couldn’t wait to get out there and join his teammates, he didn’t mind just getting to relax and watch his crush like this. Seeing that determined look on PBG’s face which was typically so goofy and laid back was pretty sexy after all.  
After a couple more practice plays, the coach called for Jeff to join in. the fourth year happily ran out onto the field and joined his teammates.

Practice was going well. Spending time with PBG was a lot of fun, even if they weren’t talking much or anything since they were focused on soccer, it was still great just getting to be with him.  
The coach blew his whistle and told the boys to take a quick break and everyone jogged over to the bleachers to sit and relax, rehydrate and have a moment to chat. “That shot earlier was awesome dude” Jeff praised his friend before taking a swig of his water bottle. “It was alright, needs some work though, I think if I work both you and Dean into the play it’ll be even better to set up.” PBG responded. Still in ‘Soccer Mode’ so focused and determined. Jeff felt his heart rate pick up. _“This feels so nice”_ Jeff thought to himself. _“What was I so worried about?”_ as if summoned by Jeff’s question, there she was. A splotch of pink appeared on the horizon, making its way over towards the field, accompanied by a redhead.  
Suddenly PBG’s face changed from driven and serious to overjoyed “Hana!” he called before jumping to his feet and running over to greet her. “You made it” “Sorry, I would have been here sooner, but Mai needed my help with… something” The pink haired girl looked over to her roommate “Oh it’s something alright, it’s gonna be a whole lot of something raining on Mimi’s head” Mai let out a cackle doing her best witch impression. “That’ll teach her to steal my comb” PBG gave her a confused look before returning his focus to Hana “Well… anyway, I’m glad you made it, I’d give you a hug, but uhh, I’m kind of a bit…” PBG held out his arms showing his uniform to his girlfriend, damp with sweat and covered in mud and grass stains. “It’s ok” she said with a smile “We can hug like this” She held out her arms to match him and the two shared an air hug. Jeff winced as he watched them, it was sickeningly cute. But at least there wasn’t any physical contact. 

The whistle blew again and it was time for everyone to get back to practice. The team jogged back out onto the field and Mai and Hana took their seats in the bleachers. They were going to be doing another practice game, just like before. But nothing felt like it did before. Everything was wrong now. Jeff couldn’t focus, his heart was racing again as panic and dread began to fill his body.  
Another whistle and the game began. Jeff, PBG and Dean passed the ball between each other as their made their way towards the goal. Or at least, that was the idea. Having her there, and catching glimpses of her out of the corner of his eye was incredibly distracting for Jeff, he didn’t have a ‘soccer mode’ like PBG did, so now that he had other things on his mind, he was getting sloppy. Missing passes, inaccurate kicks, it was almost like he’d never played soccer a day in his life. _“Why did she have to come, things were going so well”_ he grumbled to himself, becoming more and more frustrated with how downhill practice had turned.  
Another attempt at the goal, the 3 boys were making their advance, passing the ball back and forth, Dean passed to Jeff, Jeff went to pass the ball to PBG, but when he caught sight of Hana clapping and cheering PBG’s name in encouragement, he felt something begin to bubble up inside of him, like his blood was boiling, he lost control of himself. **_“Get out of here!”_ **he screamed in his head and he kicked the ball with all his might towards the goal. McJones only just barely managed to jump out of the way in time as the ball shot past him and slammed into the back of the net, tugging at it as it resisted the force of Jeff’s kick. “Dude, what the heck!?” McJones called out now that he was out of harm’s way. “S…Sorry” Jeff said weakly, his cheeks turning red as he realized what he had done and came back to his senses. “C’mon Jeff, focus.” Dean chided him.  
Jeff’s face grew redder and he could feel himself starting to tremble. He’d never lost control like that, never felt such anger within him. He did his best to fight back at the tears that were threatening to break free of his eyes. The team reset their positions and began their play again. Jeff was even sloppier now, his mind was a chaotic swirl of sadness, self-pity, and fear. Beyond that, he was also struggling to see through the tears that he had lost the battle against, he hoped that if people saw his face, they’d think the wetness was just sweat. _“What did I just do?”_ He thought to himself _“Why did I get so angry? What if I’d hurt McJones just then?”_

“Jeff!” PBG called as he kicked the ball in his friend’s direction, passing it to him. “Huh?” Jeff questioned, being pulled back out of his thoughts, he saw a vague white blur approach him, his vision obscured by his tears. He attempted to take the pass, but when he extended his leg, he suddenly found himself hurtling forwards. He had accidentally tripped on the ball. Jeff came crashing to the ground, rolling along until he was sprawled out on his back. He could feel cuts and scrapes and bruises in the making across his body. He kept his eyes firmly shut as he grimaced and tried not to scream out his pain. “Jeff! Dude are you ok?” he could hear PBG approach him. “Jeez, that must have been a nasty fall, he looks pretty banged up, and I think he’s crying” Dean commented. _“Great, they can see it”_ Jeff lamented still fighting back his urge to shout. “I’m… fine…” He gasped through gritted teeth as he rolled over and tried to get up. Pain shot up through his right leg as he stood up, sending him back to the ground, “dammit” he hissed. “Coach!” PBG called out “Jeff is hurt” the coach approached and gave the mangled heap that was Jeff’s beat up body a look over. Jeff began to mentally curse himself as more teammates gathered around him.  
The coach helped Jeff to his feet again, steadying him and helping him balance on one foot. The coach ordered Dean to take Jeff to the nurse’s office and lifted one of Jeff’s arms, allowing Dean to poke his head underneath, wrapping Jeff’s arm around the back of his neck. Slowly the two hobbled off the field and back towards Poppy Hall.


	5. Lost in Thoughts, All Alone

Jeff lay in a bed in the nurses’ office, staring up at the fan lazily spinning above him. Creeps had determined that he’d twisted his ankle and dislocated his knee from the fall. He’d be fine in a couple of days, but for the time being, walking was going to be painful and he’d need to use a set of crutches.   
As much as he didn’t want to be in physical pain on top of the emotional, Jeff was almost thankful that he now had an excuse to stay in bed and not go out and deal with people.

He could hear his phone vibrating in one of the pockets of his bag, which Dean had gone and fetched for him after getting him to Creeps. His teammate had placed the bag on a chair next to the bed, so Jeff could easily retrieve his phone without getting up, but he decided to ignore it. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with other people right now.   
Replaying the events of practice in his mind, Jeff felt pathetic, getting so upset, and so angry, just from Hana’s presence. He’d never felt himself get so angry, so suddenly, the fact he almost hurt McJones scared him, the fact he could be filled with such rage. “Guess I got what I deserved for that” he lamented, looking down at his leg, propped up on a pillow, several large purple bruises along the length of it.  

About 30 minutes later Creeps returned to his office and told Jeff he was closing up for the day so he should head back to his dorm. Leaving the nurses office the banged up fourth year slowly and awkwardly made his way down the dark and empty hallways of Poppy Hall, duffel bag slung over one shoulder, a crutch under his arm, slowly, all alone.  
Unsurprisingly, carrying his bag, while walking on crutches, after a physically demanding soccer practice was pretty tiring. So Jeff ended up taking a rest when he found a bench to sit at. He dropped his bag to the ground and eased himself onto the bench. Looking down the dark hallways, it was amazing how different the school looked at night, devoid of students. So empty, so silent, He could hear the gentle humming of cicadas outside, the sounds of the wind rushing through the trees, and the sound of his phone still vibrating.

Jeff let out a sigh before leaning forward to reach down and retrieve his phone from his bag.   
<3 missed calls>  
<Peebs – 3 new messages>  
<Ian – 2 new messages>  
<Hidden Block Club Group Chat – 42 new messages> now 43, now 44  
“Lively as ever” Jeff mused aloud. 45, 46.  
He unlocked his phone and checked his messages

<Peebs – Hey, hope you’re ok.>  
<Peebs – Hana says she hopes you’re ok too>  
<Peebs – I told Ian what happened so he knew where you were.>  


<Ian – PBG told me you took a pretty bad fall at practice, hope it’s not too serious.>  
<Ian – If you need some help getting back to the dorm, let me know>

1 missed call from PBG, 2 from Ian. And the torrent of messages in the hidden block group chat was just the usual chaos. A quick glance at the messages showed that they appeared to be discussing movie adaptations of video games, they seemed to have very mixed feelings on the upcoming "Private Inverstigtor Pikachomp" movie. Not really something Jeff cared about right now. Jeff put his phone back in his bag before shakily getting back up to continue his walk back to his dorm. Back down the hallways of the empty school building.   
“Need a hand?” the sudden voice almost caused Jeff to jump out of his skin as he held back a terrified shriek. Turning his head to look over his shoulder he saw Ian standing behind him the slightest hint of concern showing in his usually indifferent exterior. "Ian!" He gasped, trying to collect himself. "What are you doing here?" "Well" Ian began "you weren't answering my calls and it was getting late, so I came looking for you. so. need a hand?" Jeff turned his head back to looking in front of him “I’m f-“ “Yeah, I know. You’re fine.” Ian cut him off.   
Jeff felt the weight of his bag get lifted off of his shoulders, “You may be fine, but I’m not fine watching you struggle, so let me help” Ian slung the duffel bag over his own shoulder before wrapping one of Jeff’s arms behind his neck. The two boys now started their walk side by side back to their dorm.  
“Thanks"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short one this time.   
> can you tell i don't know what it's like to get a sporting injury? :P


End file.
